Monkeying Around
written by: Artifuss :0)
artifuss@yahoo.ca
Summary: Daniel has a few new programs in his PDA.
Rating: PG-13, unless someone wants to fix it
Spoilers: None, setting can be any time…
Category: Humour (that’s probably the only funny thing about it)
Pairing: None
Warning: Unbetaed.
Disclaimer: *sniff* None of the Stargate SG1 characters are mine. I was just
playing with them.
“Hey, Daniel.”
Daniel, hunched over his latest translation, looked up from his work to acknowledge his friend with a smile, “Sam. What’s up?”
“Do you have your PDA here?” Sam asked while taking the other seat to Daniel’s desk. “I need Joseline’s cell number. I’m hoping she made notes of her test results on that metal alloy we traded for from P3X-497.” She was still waiting for her new PDA to come by mail. This would be her sixth handheld. The first one was an early model and didn’t hold enough memory to keep her going. But it was great for spare parts. The second one had an untimely death with her morning coffee. The third and fifth are both lying somewhere in other galaxies, hopefully they gave some brief entertainment to the hostiles that insisted that she part with her belongings. And the fourth had the misfortune of being subjected to Naquadah. Sam really had a hard time remembering to charge the darn thing. Who knew how difficult it would be to create a Naquadah battery for a palm?
“Uh, yeah.” Daniel sat up and looked around his office to remember where he left it. Gotcha! “It’s in the cradle by my computer.”
Sam got up and made over to Daniel’s computer. Picking up the PDA, she turned it on and took the stylus pen out from its holder.
Looking for the icon for Daniel’s address book, she noticed a few new programs. “What’s this?”
“What?”
“Monkey?”
“Oh yeah, that. I’m still trying to figure out exactly when Jack got a hold of my PDA.” He really wanted to know. Daniel ended up spending three hours going through his handheld to find out what else Jack might have done with it. You just never know with Jack O’Neill. He found a GPS with every sports stadium, fishing hole and hospital located and bookmarked within Colorado Springs and its surrounding area. An updated Alarm clock that sounds like a rooster set for 4:30 am… Daniel changed it to 6am. Embarrassingly enough, he missed the notion that this new alarm program will oink like a pig around Jack’s idea of “normal” meal times. That is, Daniel didn’t notice it until he was in the commissary eating his waffles around 7:30 that morning. SG3 and 5 had also noticed this little gem too. A few memos were found on how to listen to orders, how to be on time, and there was also a lengthy note on what should not be considered as toppings for pizza. And then there was the monkey.
“It’s a Tamagotchi!”
“A what?” That monkey was many things, but the term Tamagotchi eluded the linguist.
“A Tamagotchi. They were huge a few years back with kids… Mark’s kids had a couple of them each. They were these game consoles on key chains that held a virtual pet game.”
“On key chains?” How many key chains would a kid need?
“Yeah, they were cute. Boogles and Smog.”
“Sam?” Boogles?
Smiling at the memory of her niece and nephew, “Boogles and Smog were two of the virtual pets that the kids named. Did you name this one?”
“Um, no.”
“The Colonel did.” She was sure of it. There was no way that the Colonel wouldn’t name it something. The question was; what name would the Colonel come up with? Going through the pet keeper’s panel, Sam found a banana, obviously there to feed the monkey. As well, there was a can of coke, a broom (to clean up his little mess of course), and a lightning bolt to punish a bad monkey. A bunny?
“What does the bunny do?” She selected the bunny to see what the monkey would do with it. Oh! Obviously this Tamagotchi was meant only for adults.
Daniel sighed as one who was suffering, while listening to the tell-tale audio of exactly what the monkey was doing with that bunny.
“So are you going to tell me?”
“Huh?” Daniel was confused. Wasn’t it obvious what the monkey was doing? Did Sam really need a map?
“The name?” Sam snickered. She knew what Daniel was thinking. It might have been a while, but she didn’t need a map.
Daniel winced, and then told her what their ingenious Colonel named the little bugger, “Um, Spank”
“Spank?”
“Yeah. Spank,” emphasizing it by rolling his eyes, “my monkey.” He was at least grateful that Jack had chosen not to call it Space. Daniel would have killed that particular monkey a long time ago. Spank was walking a very fine line as it was.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Figures.”
Sam closed the program after watching it pee all over the screen. Well isn’t that cute. She finally found the address book and looked up Joseline’s number. She really needed to talk to Joseline about sharing her notes and conclusions with the entire class. After jotting down the number on her notepad, she handed the PDA over to its owner.
“Thanks Daniel, your Monkey left you a present.” She said while leaving his office.
“Oh, goody.” Daniel sighed, while finding the virtual broom to clean up his monkey’s mess.
Fin